Inspiration for the Mick Karbula Memorial Foundation
The intensity of the heartbreak that follows losing a loved one, especially a parent, can feel insurmountable. It’s a terrible loss at any age, but to lose a parent at a turning point in both your life and theirs, as you are preparing to share milestones of your own with them, that loss seems exceptionally poignant. The loss of a beloved parent casts a bittersweet shadow on every occasion from that point forward. Their absence is unavoidable during every holiday, birthday, and milestone. Additionally, the process of watching a loved one suffer the trauma of being diagnosed, the toll of the psychological burden, and the physical degradation as a result of the disease is life-changing and soul-crushing. It’s the entire experience that impacts those the victim leaves behind, not just their absence. It’s been said that everyone processes and manages that impact differently, and I believe that to be true. My personal journey of processing and managing that impact has inspired me to create an opposite, equally positive, impact.
Supporting the fight against lung cancer is different than nearly all other health-related causes. Losing loved ones to virtually all other health-issues is considered tragic. Those who knew the victim of the disease rally around their loss to support others with similar struggles. As I have quickly and profoundly discovered, that is not the case with lung cancer. When someone is diagnosed with lung cancer, especially if they have any history of smoking, an implied self-responsibility is applied to their diagnosis— often both by the patient themselves, as well as others. I cannot count the times that sharing that my dad had been diagnosed with lung cancer was met with the response, “I’m so sorry to hear that. Did he smoke?” (%$!? When your brother found out he had heart disease did I ask if he ate red meat?!... I digress.) Somehow, as a society, we have allowed the campaign condemning smoking as an unhealthy habit (it is unhealthy— but so are alcohol, fat, sugar, and depending who you ask, gluten) to contaminate our ability to be compassionate to those who contract lung cancer. That contamination has infiltrated every aspect of fighting a cancer that literally everyone is susceptible to. (If there are lungs in your body, you are at risk of developing lung cancer.) Many survivors are too ashamed to advocate and fund-raise, especially if they have a history of smoking. Families of lung cancer victims often feel that rallying in support of lung cancer is irreverent, and somehow continuing to shame or dishonor their loved one. Those attempting to fund-raise for lung cancer research are often chided for supporting an unworthy cause (after all, “people who smoke know the risks.”) Even doctors and researchers have difficulty finding support. Financially, lung cancer research is supported at a significantly lower ratio of dollars to deaths than any other type of cancer. Yes, there is a connection between smoking and lung cancer but, there’s also a connection between smoking and breast, liver, pancreatic, and colorectal cancers. And yes, the risk of lung cancer can be lessened by choosing not to smoke, but lung cancer won’t be a disease of the past by eradicating smoking.
Lung cancer is a huge problem, and it’s a huge problem compounded by smoking. Every day, 642 Americans are diagnosed with lung cancer. That’s nearly a quarter of a million a year, and nearly two and a half million in a decade. For those 234,000 Americans diagnosed this year, only 20% (46,800) are expected to survive until 2023. Comparatively, breast cancer, which has had some of the greatest advocacy events and has become such a prevalent cause that even for-profit corporations are selling breast cancer awareness products, will have a similar number of diagnoses this year, however, 93% of those diagnosed with breast cancer will survive five years, and in 20 years, 72% will still be survivors. This is a great illustration of the results that successful advocacy can generate. It’s long past time to give lung cancer the attention that it deserves so that lung cancer screenings can become as just as commonplace, accessible and affordable as mammograms and prostate exams. By supporting more research and generating positive advocacy, we can finally raise survival rates and give patients hope.
With all the negativity, blame and apathy surrounding lung cancer, if I don’t support this movement, with the motivation of a prominent and unexpected loss, who will? The lack of advocacy strengthened my urgency to take initiative. A year after losing my dad, I launched a Facebook fundraiser which raised $710 for the Lung Cancer Research Foundation. Even as successful as that was, I wanted to do more, and I wanted to take action that would be meaningful and reverent to my dad’s memory. I wanted the next person diagnosed with lung cancer to have a better and even more supportive experience than Dad had. That inspiration and desire to make the changes I want to see have evolved into the creation of the Mick Karbula Memorial Foundation and the first (hopefully annual) Mick Karbula Golf Outing for Lung Cancer.
Honestly, had Dad's battle with lung cancer gone differently, I don't know how eager he would've been to advocate and raise money for lung cancer research (public speaking, event-planning and fundraising weren't really interests of his.) But, I have no doubt that he absolutely would "strongly encourage" those who qualify for a preventative screening to get one annually. I also have no doubt that he would approve of fighting for others to have a better chance of survival. Even more, I know, that like so many others who have smoked and are subsequently diagnosed with lung cancer, Dad had battles with guilt and shame following his diagnosis. Dad was also lucky enough to have the rallied support of friends, family and colleagues. The encouragement, well wishes and care, that were all given without judgement or condemnation, provided so much relief to his burden of guilt. I often reflect on Dad's journey, and consider those lung cancer patients that do not have the same encouragement, and I am hopeful for a future in which all cancer patients are treated with the same empathy and respect.
In the time since I lost my Dad, I've celebrated two years of Thanksgivings, Christmases, birthdays, and gotten married without his physical presence. My life continues, and I have to move forward, but I refuse to forget the impact that both his life, and the loss of his life, had on mine. My hope is that through this advocacy, others will also know and feel the impact of Dad's life.Those that knew Dad, recognized him as someone who was always willing to help others, no matter the cause. It is in that spirit of giving and goodwill that this foundation has been created.
THANK YOU for supporting this initiative, and being part of the momentum of positive change in lung cancer research, treatment, and advocacy!
Kristina Karbula Frye
Mick’s Daughter